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Expensive Anger

8/6/2015

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On Wednesday, August 5, 2015 the Tampa Tribune (page 2 of the Metro section) carried an article by Elaine Silverstrini entitled “Man to plead guilty to luring boy to Tampa”.  This article details the story of a sexual relationship between a 46-year-old man and a 15-year-old boy.  According to the author the adult man, Stephen Underwood, and the young man lied about their age. The two became acquainted through a dating or meeting site called Kik.  The boy claimed to be 16, living in Missouri and being bullied at school because of being gay. The man claimed to be 31. He told the young man that he would be in Missouri for a funeral and offered to bring the boy back to Tampa with him.   Mr. Underwood will plead guilty to the federal charge of “transporting a minor with the intent to engage in criminal sexual activity.”  

In March a Minnesota man was sentenced on a similar charge to more than 31 years in federal prison after pleading guilty to traveling to Tampa to meet a 14-year-old girl for sex.

According to current figures on the federalregister.com the current cost for incarcerating someone in federal prison is $26,163.00 per year. At that rate, the cost for 31 years is $811, 053.   The latest figures I could find through an Internet search were that there are approximately 11,699 individuals in federal prisons and who are listed as sex offenders.  This does not count those in county, city and state prisons or those who have been released and are being monitored.  Just counting the 11, 699 inmates who are 6.1 per cent of the federal inmate population we taxpayers are spending approximately $306,080,937.00 per annum just to imprison those individuals. One can only imagine the total amount being spent on monitoring, arresting, housing and prosecuting all those who are currently listed as sexual offenders.

Why are we doing this?  Who are these people? Certainly some of them are dangerous individuals who have brutally raped individuals.  On criminalfindlaw.com was the following list of those charges, which might result in someone being labeled as a sexual offender:

Examples of sex offenses include:

•   Sexual conduct with a minor
•   Sexual assault
•   Sexual assault of spouse
•   Molestation of a child
•   Continuous sexual abuse of a child
•   Infamous crimes against nature
•   Lewd and lascivious acts
•   Indecent exposure and public sexual indecency
•   Taking a child for the purpose of prostitution
•   Sexual exploitation of a minor
•   Incest
•   Kidnapping, aggravated assault, murder, unlawful imprisonment, and burglary (when the offense includes evidence of sexual motivation)
•   Failure to register as a sex offender
•   Violation of Sex Offender Registration statutes

Not included on this list is having child pornography on one’s computer whether or not one intentionally downloaded it. It is also important to note that if one has sex with an underage prostitute who lies about their age one can also be charged as a sexual offender, often under the charge of statutory rape. The age of consent varies in each state and in each country. Not long ago in the United States one could still be jailed for any homosexual acts. This is still true in a number of countries.  There are also those who are charged with inappropriate touching of a child in divorce hearings. That charge is often very difficult, if not impossible, to disprove. I have seen a number of clients who convicted who I was convinced were innocent.

The age of consent and/or the legal permissible difference in ages varies from state to state and country to country.  The mirror.co.uk had the following on the age of consent:

“But is Britain unusual in maintaining the age of consent at 16, and how does we compare to the rest of the world?

In Europe, countries who have the age of consent set at 16 include Cyprus, Finland, Georgia, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, and Switzerland.

For Austria, Germany, Portugal and Italy it is 14, and in France, the Czech Republic, Denmark, and Greece it is 15.

Spain did have one of the lowest ages of consent on the continent at just 13, but recently agreed to raise this to 16.

Throughout the rest of the world, there are big variations.

In Bahrain, it is set at 21 for women who want to marry without their father's consent, while in nearby Saudi Arabia, all sex outside of marriage is illegal but there are no laws limiting the age at which you can get married.

In China, the age of consent is 14, in Iraq it is 18, while in Japan it is five years lower at 13.

The likes of Brazil, Peru, Paraguay, Ecuador and Colombia all have it set at 14.

And in some countries - such as Chile - the minimum age of consent is 14, but there are legal restrictions on sexual activities up to the age of 18, and homosexual sex is illegal before that age.

Australia's age of consent varies between 16 and 17 depending on which territory you are in, and the same goes for America where it ranges from 16 to 18 between different states.”

There are many other issues related to not only the age of consent but also when consent is consent.   In her recent book, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget, Sarah Hoepola raised the question of how to hold someone accountable who has sex with someone who is experiencing a blackout. In an alcoholic blackout it is not usually obvious that a person is having a blackout or even if one is drunk.

Obviously we humans are very confused about when it is okay to have sex, with whom and at what age.  In the United States, despite the fact that we use the suggestion of sex to sell many everyday products, dress up six year old dance students as miniature harlots, and permit very sexual teenagers to dress in provocative clothes, we are uncomfortable with the idea that sexual beings have sex at various ages with various individuals.

We may not like the fact that our teenagers are sexual but we seem unable to prevent them from being so despite various warnings, threats, religious rules and passionate warnings.

We also seem conflicted about whether or not being a Cougar is funny, acceptable or an act to laud (a cougar is an older woman who has a younger lover), or whether an older man has a trophy wife 40 years or more his junior. As long as she is of legal age at the time of the mating is he to be admired or criticized.  The sight of someone exposing him or herself offends us but we allow increasing nudity on the television screen.  Family nudist camps are legal in many states as our nude beaches but exposing oneself, even to relieve oneself when there is no public bathroom available, may be criminal. 

Depending on the state and whether one crosses a state line to engage in sexual activity, the attitude of parents or guardians and whether law enforcement officers find out an adult is having sex with a minor is tolerated or not tolerated.  Running away from home is illegal in many states, no matter what the conditions of one’s home or how much one is bullied in the current system.  Again, depending on who finds out and the attitude of parents and others one might be convicted of breaking the law or not.

Computer experts agree that it is possible for someone to download something on one’s computer without one’s permission and yet we send people to prison for having child pornography on their computer even where there is no proof that they intentionally downloaded it It  seems to depends on one’s attorney and the judge involved in the particular case.

Behavior, which offends our personal values and sensibilities often, result in someone being incarcerated.  We are apparently, as taxpayers willing to spend a lot of money to money to satisfy our delusion that we are going to prevent or deter future behavior.

To be sure there are a few public voices that have suggested that we need to distinguish between who is truly dangerous and those who may personally disgust us and who may be the subject of our angry judgment.

As a father of a son I certainly did not want to see my son sexually active at 15 or 16 or 17. I was frightened that if he were sexually active he would be impulsive and perhaps contact a sexually transmitted disease such as syphilis or HIV.  I was also worried that he might help to conceive a child, which would have become my responsibility until he was old enough to care for it.   Personally, as a parent whose son is now 44, I prefer not to think of him as sexually active although, at the same time, I want him to have a loving relationship.   Obviously, I am well aware that he is a human and probably sexually active. We do not discuss that part of his life.

If I had known that he was sexually active with someone over 18 when he was 15 or 16 would I have called the police?  Certainly not.  Obviously, if I felt that he was being forcibly raped I would have called the police.   If he had run away from home at 15 would I have wanted him to be living in the street or with an older person, male or female, with whom he was having a sexual relationship. Certainly not. Would I have called the police?  If I did not know that he was safe I might have?  I am not sure but I do not think that I would have.  Would I have hated that he felt he needed to leave home and live on his own?  Yes.  If he had cited all the famous people who have left home at 15 would I have felt better?  No!  If he had pointed out to me that even today many people in countries at war are helping their young teenagers to leave home would I have felt better?  No.

My point is that there are many behaviors, which I personally do not think, are good or healthy for a teenager or an adult. On the other hand, I am not convinced that criminalizing so many common behaviors, some of which are sexual, is making the community safer or more desirable. 

I do not know the 15 year old who was having a consensual sexual relationship with Mr. Underwood.  I doubt very much that he was damaged as a result of having a sexual relationship with Mr. Underwood. Apparently the young man is very clear that he is gay.  I hope and pray that he let his parents know he was okay. I hope and pray that they cared enough to want to know.

I have no idea what has happened to this young man or how his parents have responded to him since he was discovered living with Mr. Underwood, Of course I hope and pray that he was welcome home with love. I hope that they do not tell him he is a poor victim.  I hope that he wants to continue his education and that he in a school, which embraces diversity.

I will also pray for Mr. Underwood. If he somehow contacted me and needed a friendly person to write him while he was in jail, I would do so. I also write to two former clients who are in jail as sexual offenders.   If the young man needed a kind, listening, professional ear I would do all I could to make myself available.  If I can play a role in changing the law so that we quit prosecuting and incarcerating those who are not dangerous, I will do so.  I would also do away with the public sexual offender list, which is often used to frighten and harass people on the list as well as unduly frighten his or her neighbors.

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    Jimmy Pickett is a life student who happens to be a licensed counselor and an addiction counselor. He is a student of Buddhism with a background of Christianity and a Native American heritage.

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